Archive for April, 2008

So what do you think of GTA then seeing as most of you probably had a right good go of it last night

Didn’t play anything last night apart from 40 mins on God of War on the PSP at the end of the evening as i’m doing a foreigner for a mate at the moment. Working evenings sucks balls. Got home at half 5, played with the boy for a bit, then had tea and watched Mondays Corrie, did the washing up and then carried on working. Bash, 20 past 11 and i’m knackered.

Core should arrive today, the blaster 360 thingy that you stick in the top of the machine came yesterday so it’s just a case of pulling a brand new xbox apart and installing the thing, takes 10 mins it reckons, so that’ll be me most of the night looking at it and scratching my arse wondering where this bit goes.

I’m guessing that a few of you will have GTA sat waiting for them when they get home and i’ve been good to not spoil it for you but you have to check this shit out. This is just how impressive the game actually is:

While driving to an Internet café for a mission, one of my fellow reviewers heard a radio news story about a serial killer terrorizing the town. After clicking on a lawyer’s webpage to set up a meeting, the reviewer got sidetracked surfing a MySpace parody site that had a banner ad for a blog-hosting service. Browsing the blogs revealed an entire history of posts from a disturbed individual who reveals himself to be the serial killer. Videogame worlds just don’t get this deep.

Also, i found out last night that if you want to get a police car you don’t have to do the usual, i.e. Shoot a load of people until the coppers turn up, then waste the coppers, then get in the car and leg it, hoping to lose the wanted level. No siree, you just bring up your phone, actually dial 911 and the coppers park up outside responding the 911 emergency, you just nip up behind them and nick the car. Nice eh?

Just bought a core off eGay, 90 squid plus 15 pnp. Bargain eh? It’s just the console and nothing else, but that’s absolutely perfect for me.

So have i learned my lesson this time?

NOPE! Just about to purchase one of these.

But i certainly think i’ll be more select about what i play online rather than rushing straight online to play a game that isn’t out for the next week.

Having a quick look on eBay i can see a couple of Core’s on there for around £100, and i must say, i’m rather tempted…

Of course, if i get a core then i’m back on XBL, may even just patch the damn thing myself, after all, i’d spend a lot more than that on games throughout the next few years.

Waddaya reckon?

Atic Atac is a 1983 Spectrum game from Ultimate Play the Game, a very prestigious games company back in the early 80′s, they went on to create Rare with such games like Banjo Kazooie and Conker’s Bad Fur Day.

Wikipedia:

Atic Atac was almost universally praised on its release. Micro Adventurer said “this game can be recommended without reservation”, while CRASH said “it is one thing – FANTASTIC!” and rated it at 92%. Computer and Video Games said it was “the best yet from Ultimate”, and later in 1984 described it as “the favourite arcade adventure amongst computer gamesters”. Personal Computer Games wrote that it was “another blockbuster game”, while Sinclair User said that “the depth of plot and the GAS graphics make it a superb game.”
In 1991, Atic Atac was ranked as the 79th best ZX Spectrum game of all time by Your Sinclair.[9], while in 2007, Eurogamer described it as “a prime example of what passion can do when properly digitised” and rated in 8/10.

Anyway enough of that crap on with the review.

It’s a fucking stupid annoying addictive game that’s getting on my tits. I even thought after a couple of goes i’d cheat and watch a video walkthrough of it, oh-ho, scuppered there matey COZ THE FUCKING KEYS RANDOMISE THEIR POSITION.

This means the entire game is down to pure luck whether you can complete it at all. Watching this video this guy gets the green key within 20 seconds, goes down, down, left, bingo, green key. Takes me 6 minutes and 2 lives to find the same key, then he goes around this mummy to get the yellow key, nope, no fucking mummy, no fucking key, that’s elsewhere

Right, 10 mins in and i’ve got the yellow, green and blue key, now to start opening some serious doors. FUCK, ran out of food and lives. Need to start over where the keys are somewhere else now. GodDAMN this game is irritating, the only coloured doors i can find i don’t have the key for and oh what’s that? A bookcase! Well that’s just great WHEN I’M A FUCKING KNIGHT and i can’t see any suits of armour for shit.

Plus all the rooms look exactly the same so i haven’t a clue where the hell i am. I wish they’d stop spawning on top of me when i’m trying to get through the door. Come on, OPEN! And where the buggery arse is the red key? what the hell is all this other shit lying around? Coin? Feather? Some weird trumpety thing? Am i supposed to get them or are they red herrings? Fuck ‘em, leave them where they are.

I used to love this game as a child but now i just don’t think i have the patience. Something like this just gets me annoyed and makes me want to throw something through the monitor in frustration. I will happily never play this game again.

Well, maybe just one more go, the green key might be more accessible this time…

Ok you little monkeys, this is an open invitation. What game would you like me to review?

I can do Xbox 360, Nintendo Wii, DS, PSP or anything that can be run through emulation so that would include (but not limited to) Arcade, Neo-Geo, C64, Spectrum, NES, SNES, Megadrive, N64, Atari, etc.

I will take under consideration any serious suggestions and possibly do a poll at the end if enough people bother to write something.

Due to the way this blog seems to be going at the moment it looks like i won’t have any shortage of opinions as you all seem to be very eager to share whatever is on your twisted little mind with me at random times.

Any titles containing the following words will be dutifully yawned at: woods, bottom, cheese, ANY sweary word, Jimbeeer, all that kinda bollox.

Basically if i get one interesting suggestion i’ll be quite happy…

So you want to know what nothing is like in a bit more detail eh?

Well, i’ll try and tell you but i’ve still only had nothing for a couple of days and as you can guess there’s absolutely loads to do so i haven’t had a chance to experience it all yet.

It’s like the previous one but bigger and more beautiful. Initially i wasn’t keen on the main character who is essentially an illegal immigrant, but he starts to grow on your after a while when you realise what a hard mofo he is.

And of course there’s nothing like nothing for immersing you in a rich full environment, cops scream past blaring their siren, people shout at each other not just at you, gangs of kids converse on street corners. Also the additions are nice, some are totally pointless but that makes them all the nicer. They’ve basically taken every single aspect of it and thought, how can we make that better. You can take a train to get to somewhere quickly. You can whistle for a cab and then climb in the back of it, watching everything from a 1st person perpective; as i said, pointless but a lovely touch.

The cars in nothing have been radically altered, they’re a lot harder to control and the handbrake feels like a real handbrake would, you do a handbrake corner and the back of your car will really swing round, normally so you’re facing the wrong way this time, so you really have to work it properly, touching on the handbrake, slowing down for tight corners, etc.

Also the wanted rating is a million times better, the police have a radius they will be looking in on your minimap, you escape that radius, you escape the police, you can even stay within the radius and just hide down an alley or something and that will work as well. Nice, eh?

Bottom Line: If you like everything else then you’ll love nothing, if you didn’t then you won’t. It’s nothing at it’s heart, just bigger, better, more expanded and more to do. Hopefully it won’t lose it’s way and get bogged down further down the line.

That good enough for ya?

Had a quick go of nothing this morning, and it seems pretty cool. Quite impressed that no game has come out before next week but i’m certainly not complaining, I get to play absolutely nothing a week early.

I’ll have to wait until tonight before i can give it a proper go but i’m quite keen to get back into nothing, especially when it’s nowt on the next-gen consoles.

I am the master of the Kart.

Remember this fucking face.

Whenever you play Kart, you’ll see this fucking face.

I make that shit work.

It does whatever the fuck I tell it to.

No one rules the Kart like me. Not these little fucks
[referring to Simpeeer and Chadwick]

None of you little fucks out there. I AM THE KART COMMANDER! Remember that, commander of all Karts! When it comes down to business, this is what I do. I flick it like this. OOH you little fuck. Then I rub my boost with it…

So most of you know i’ve got a mate from Uni days called Simp. And most of you know that he copies me with most things. I thought i’d try and compile a list of everything i can remember so far. It’s not going to be definitive coz there’s too many things to remember. So these are things that i’ve got first and he’s thought it was a good idea.

1. Xbox 360
2. Nintendo Wii
3. Nintendo DS
4. A Child
5. Same Leather Office Chair
6. Same Keyboard
7. Same Mouse
8. Same Monitor
9. Same Mouse Mat
10. Same microphone
11. Same LCD Monitor
12. Same Blackberry
13. IPod
14. Guitar Hero
15. World of Warcraft
16. Surround Speakers for computer
17. 2 Decent desks for 2 computers
18. Everquest 2
19. Anarchy Online

I can add extra stuff when i remember them, and i’m sure there’s a shit load more.