Archive for June, 2008

Be kind, Rewind stars Jack Black and Mos Def as a couple of blokes who remake some famous movies in low-budget (called Sweding).

So that’s the synopsis out of the way, what’s it like?

Well, the basic premise is the old ‘bulldozing the run-down but well-loved shop within 7 days unless the old man comes up with a ton of money’. The film itself is aaalllriiiiight. It’s quite a twee movie and certainly has an old school quality to it. Jack Black isn’t his usual madcap self and Mos Def’s character actually sounds like he’s a bit slow.

The film certainly has some funny moments but 90% of these are in the trailer. So it’s got the Uncle Buck syndrome where the trailer’s a lot funnier than the film. There’s enough entertainment and it moves along at a quick enough pace to stop you switching off.

The film itself isn’t too bad, it’s just been done a million times before in various guises, this time it’s people sweding famous films. The ideas they come up with to cut budget are pretty ingenious and it’s occasionally enough to motivate you to get off your arse and make your own sweded movies.

I doubt the wags would like it as they may not be die hard Jack Black fans but it’s worth a watch for us blokies, you just may get a little bored towards the end.

Metal Gear Solid 4; the PS3′s supposed crowning glory is a load of bollocks. All the reviews are deeply unimpressed. I did hear that there’s a lot of cut scenes as well as gameplay but i didn’t realise how much until i just watched the Zero Punctuation review for it.

He timed how long it would take between pressing start to play and actually playing…

21 minutes.

21 fucking minutes. What moron thought that would be a good idea. Oh of course, it’s the apparent god amongst Sony fanboys that is Hideo Kojima.

What a prick!

That’s essentially an episode of Family Guy. You press start to play, go watch Family Guy or Simpsons or something, come back and start playing. How bollocks is that. Chadwick would feel suitably cheated by that seeing as he hates intros and cutscenes to start with.

Not for the first time (and i suspect, not the last either) i thank Jeebus that i haven’t buckled and bought a PS3.

Nicked from MTV movie blog thingy

They join forces to fight enemies no single hero can battle alone. So what possible villain could be big enough, strong enough, or crazy enough to go against the combined powers of Iron Man, Captain America, Thor, Ant-Man, and the rest of The Avengers? How about no villain at all, “Incredible Hulk” director Louis Leterrier wondered, but a hero?

[Spoiler Warning for those who don’t wish to know anything about "The Incredible Hulk"]

“I would love to see [the Hulk become the villain that fights the Avengers] because I think the best villains are always the ones whose agenda you understand,” he enthused. “They’re not synthetic to us in a way; they’re not these one dimensional bad guys.”

The Hulk being instrumental to the formation of The Avengers isn’t actually a new idea — in fact, it’s precisely the reason the team formed way back when Stan Lee and Jack Kirby first started the comic in 1963. Leterrier wanted to make sure he gave the next “Avengers” captain, whether it be him, Jon Favreau, or someone else, the same opportunity.

“That’s why I left the door open for whoever’s going to direct ‘The Avengers’ with our last shot. Edward and I, we consciously decided to make the last shot of the movie when he opens his eyes and he smirks at the camera,” Leterrier said. “Is he enjoying it? Is he malicious? That’s what’s great about Edward. You don’t know if he’s a good guy or bad guy. He’s always on this edge and we’ve been sort of surfing that edge, that very thin edge during the entire movie.”

“So that last shot of the movie, if you decide that he’s smiling, in control, then he’s a good guy, that’s ‘The Hulk 2,’” he continued. “If Hulk is a failure, then he looks up and smirks and that’s eventually the Hulk of the Avengers — the uncontrollable beast that they need to team up to stop.”

“The Avengers” movie is tentatively scheduled for 2011, and that’s plenty of time to figure it out, Leterrier said. And the best way to do that? Let the fans decide, he said.

“I would listen to the fans before I listen to the box office,” Leterrier insisted. “They are the reason why these movies successful.”

Watched Iron Man last night. Another great movie but it felt not quite as good as the jolly green giant’s effort.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s a wonderful popcorn movie but it just felt a tiny bit convoluted to me. The situations were just a bit too easy. Like how the hell did he make the first iron man suit when he’s been watched constantly on camera and he’s supposed to be making a missile. Surely the terrorists must have thought, hang on, why is he ‘wearing’ our missile, you’re not supposed to wear missiles. And where’s the missile shells, i can see a load of parts that would fit snugly around a human about the height and weight of Tony Stark, but nothing missile shaped. Ah well, I’m sure it’ll turn out fine in the end.

No, no, they just run around shouting ‘Durka Durka’ and waving their guns about.

It’s very much a pinch of salt movie and suspension of disbelief is a compulsory requisition before you start.

It’s certainly a good film, and i’m already looking forward to IM2, but out of the 2 i definitely preferred Hulk.

Watch Iron Man first then Hulk second and you’ll enjoy both. I did it the other way and i think i was spoiled.

Might give ‘Be Kind, Rewind’ a go this evening, had my eye on that one for a long while.

Sorry, boys and girls. I’m in no fit state to write anything witty or .. thingy.

Went to the gee-gee’s last night with work so i feel rather tired this morning. Maybe i’ll wake up a bit by this afternoon but i feel rather fooked at the moment.

Oh and the little man broke my glasses this morning. So that’s just perfect.

Watched The Incredible Hulk last night. Was thoroughly entertained! It certainly makes up for Ang Lee’s boring old piece of artsy crap. It even gets straight on down to it and sets the entire first act up in a matter of minutes through flashbacks. Bingo, we know he loves Betty, we know General Ross hates him, we know how he became the hulk and we know why he is where is now. Very clever in my opinion.

Plus the writers have certainly done their hulk homework, you’ve got the thunderclap, hulk smash, even making gloves from a car, it’s all present. You’ve even got a cameo by Lou Ferrigno, poor guy still can’t speak very well.

And the end fight certainly doesn’t disappoint. Enough things explode and get destroyed to satiate the hulkiest of appetites (see what i did there).

I’ll try not to say more about it as a good few of you won’t have seen it yet but it’s certainly worth a butchers. Especially to the hard to please comic book fanboy bitches, which let’s face it, we all are.

No, it’s got nothing to do with Trading Places but Spider-Man: Web of Shadows is still looking pretty good, and you have to admit that the combat is rather attractive!

For FUCK sakes! I’ve just spent a fucking fortune on Rock Band. What a fucking gip. Oh and how much is this shit gonna cost, eh? Fucking pounds ten, that’s how much.

Bunch of twatty cocksuckers…

Nicked from IGN

Three pads, two raised cymbals, and one bass pedal make up the action elements of this new drum peripheral. That equates to the basic setup of a snare, two toms, two cymbals and a bass drum. The two cymbals are raised above the three primary pads and, on the prototype set we got a look at, had hinges and swivels on them so that you could position them how you wanted. To activate star power with the kit you simply hit both cymbals at the same time.

The first thing you’ll notice when you see the kit in action is that it’s quieter than the Rock Band drums, which is great news for neighbors everywhere. Each drum head is eight inches in diameter, slightly larger than Rock Band’s kit, so you’ll be less likely to miss when things get heated. Like the guitar, this puppy is wireless. That won’t really aid you in your posturing, but it will keep your room less cluttered.

The big news with the pads, though, is that they’re now sensitive to the speed you hit them. Slam it and you get a louder note. Tap it and, well, you get the picture. Like the touch pad on the guitar, this feature really comes into its own in the music creator.

Seeing as everyone was so frigging useless last time i’ll give you a whole bunch of clues.

• You don’t normally see his face
• He’s from Timperley, Near Altrincham, Greater Manchester
• His visual style owes a lot to Max Fleischer
• He was very popular in the late 80′s, early 90′s, nowadays he’s regarded as cult
• His pose he’s doing here is one of his more popular poses

Well after a long and bleak fortnight i finally got the internet working this morning. Got a text message from Virgin saying it was connected this morning at 8am. So first thing to do is ring them up coz i didn’t have my password for PPPoE (username and password for internet connection).

Ring, ring.

Please enter your phone number including area code
Press 2 for support on a product
Press 4 if you’re having problems with your broadband
Please be aware that this, that and the other postcode are out.
Have you tried turning off and turning on your modem, this usually fixes lots of problems, if you’re still having problems press 1

It’s now taken over 4 minutes just to get through the maze of auto-responders to get to a ‘please hold, you will be passed through to the first representative available, your call is important to us and will be answered shortly’

Hello my name is Jugdish, can i take your phone number. (oh god…)

Blah blah blah, another 5 minutes of going through security questions and account details as he can’t find my account.

Right, i’m just after the PPPoE password please, I’ve got the username, i just need the password.

You’ll find the username and password on the bottom of the router.

No i don’t want the username and password to get into the router, i’m already in, i need the username and password to connect to the internet. You know, the username and password that connects to my specific account.

I’m sorry, I can’t see a username and password for your account. You don’t have one.

Well, obviously i have one, how would it tally the line and account together if there’s no username. I need the PPPoE password.

Puts me on hold to find out what the PPPoE means.

Comes back on, tells me there’s no PPPoE, i need to connect through DHCP. I tell him there’s no option for DHCP, he says ‘yes’ a lot, then tells me i need to connect through DHCP and the username and password is on the bottom of the modem.

I repeat myself at least 3 times, then i work out he’s talking about cable modem, i don’t have a cable modem coz my house can’t get cable, i have an adsl modem and i need the PPPoE password, i have the username but i don’t have the password. He tells me the password is on the bottom of the modem. By this time i’m incredibly annoyed and telling him i don’t want to get into the fucking modem, i’m already in the fucking modem. I want the fucking PPPoE password so i’m connected to Virgin properly. He tells me it’s not PPPoE it’s DHCP despite the leaflet i got from Virgin with the title ‘It’s asking me for PPPoE settings, what are those? These are the username and password you need to connect to the internet, the username is on your account and the password is what you set up with Virgin’.

So five more minutes of going absolutely nowhere (20 mins in total), he then tells me i have the wrong department and he proceeds to read out the right number, it starts with 090. I tell him there’s no fucking way i’m calling an 090 number just for a password they should have supplied me with in the first place. He says ‘yes’ a lot, then carries on reading the number. I get the number off him, thank him for wasting 20 minutes of my life and put the phone down.

I then ring back and go through to the moving home department, they put me through to ‘beyond broadband’ (i was through to broadband before, i clearly needed beyond broadband), this isn’t an indian call center, they then tell me my password 3 minutes after the initial hello and security checking.

What is it about indian call centres? They wind the shit up out of me. They take so sodding long to get anything done, and even then they just end up calling an engineer for you coz they’ve got to the end of the flow-chart in front of them. I think it’s when you have to repeat yourself slowly coz they don’t understand. That annoys me the most. Then they ask you a question, you slightly pre-empt them coz you know what they’re going to say, they say ‘yes’ a lot, then re-ask the question, so this time you wait for them to finish the question and you respond with the same fucking answer.

Still, the internet is working now and first indications are that’s it’s about 6 and a half meg connection, not too bad for adsl, a hell of a step down from the 20meg connection i had with cable but there’s absolutely nothing i can do about that.

So what can i download? Well, absolutely nothing, coz nothing is out!

So far, i’ve got the free Spore Creature Creator so i can have a bit of a play with that. That’s all i can think of getting.

Well that, and porn. But that’s obvious.