11 Things I’ve Learned From Amsterdam

Feeling a bit more with it today so instead of giving you a boring old ‘i did this on friday, then this on saturday’ I present 11 things I’ve learned from the sin city of the world.

1. ALL British weed is shit compared to the godliness over there.

2. This is Super Lemon Haze from Green House

Super Lemon Haze

And it will have respect. It’s the winner of the Cannabis Cup 2008, it’s 28.2% THC and i smoked 3 in De Rokerij and had to go sit on the floor outside or I would have thrown up. It’s really, really, REALLY strong. But it’s fucking good. Look at it and drool. Hell, look at those bloody trichomes!

3. Dog Biscuits don’t taste very nice. I was tricked into believing it was a stag tradition to eat a dog biscuit on the 3 days that we’re away. It was only after munching into the first one they all pissed themselves laughing. What? I was pretty monged by this point.

Meaty Goodness

4. Due to the Euro being at 1.08 to the Pound, everything is so fucking expensive. A pint costs €4.50, Burger King was €5.95, and this 400g of chocolate must have been the best frigging chocolate bar in the world as it cost me €5.50.

It was pretty tasty actually.

5. De Rokerij is a lovely coffee shop and Mrs. Woman there makes a cracking hot chocolate. The chap at the weed counter wouldn’t let me take a picture of him or the menu so i got everything but.

6. The prostitutes in the windows on Saturday night are rather stunning and you would… quite easily.

On the other hand, the monday morning dregs are fucking rough. Half of them are over 50 and the others are big black hoochie mommas offering a whole lotta lovin’. No i don’t have any pictures of them, i’d get my head kicked in if i took pictures of hookers.

7. Magic Mushrooms are now illegal as from 1st December last year but Truffles aren’t. Contrary to what the woman said behind the counter, this is half a portion (€17.50) and will not do splitting between 2 people. For a proper hallucinogenic experience you’d need at least one each.

This is apparently what Truffles are officially called.

8. Weed is sold by the gram and usually costs between €10 and €13. You get this much:

NL Haze: Gets you high but not stoned. The feeling's all in the head rather than dragging down the body. Very nice.

9. It’s incredibly dangerous to be a pedestrian due to:
a) The amount of flaming bikes all over the shop,
b) They don’t slow down or stop, so you get out of the way or they crash into you,
c) Them driving on the right side of the road so you don’t know which way to look first when crossing,
d) It’s too easy to wander into the bike lanes, and all you hear to get out of the way is a pathetic little dring dring of their handbell. Which you ignore coz you’re generally too stoned to react to anything.

10. Dutch people are stunningly good looking. It’s like Logan’s Run out there. Only the beautiful and young survive.

11. There’s a big church in the middle of the city. It’s right next door to a coffee shop and also on the edge of the red light district. Don’t you just love their tolerant attitude to virtually everything!

So that was my stag do. It wasn’t completely insane, pants round the ankles, branded type thing, but i am in my mid thirties and I knew before we went it wouldn’t be that kind of holiday. But i still enjoyed it nonetheless and I currently feel very relaxed and chilled.

And it looks like i’ve come home to some interesting game releases, including Matt Hazard and Resi Evil 5.